Kids funny property laws - everything is theirs


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A comparative poem: women vs. men

WOMAN’S POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
 

MAN’S POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t care.

14 things that it took me over 50 years to learn

By the amazing - Dave Barry

  1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
  3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
  4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
  6. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
  7. Never lick a steak knife.
  8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
  9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
  10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
  11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
  12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
  13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
  14. Your friends love you anyway.

What did you learn?

The meaning of life, the secrets never told

Touching Base and Closing the Loop

Lifehacker has a great post about office jargon and their true definitions, that you’d love to read. Here’s an example of one of the examples to “office-speaking”:

I’m calling to touch base: “I want something from you but I can’t say it up front.” Or “I am worried that you are lost and I’m sniffing around for signs to confirm my hunch.”



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