Fuck you, Web2.0
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Loading ...A tribute to Spike Lee’s “Fuck All!” from the film “The 25th Hour“
Well, fuck you, too. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck this whole Web2.0 sphere and everyone in it. Fuck the gazillion of blogs out there, ripping each other off and fighting for credit, while they write 10 bullshit posts a day, jamming up my feed reader with stuff that nobody wants to read and making pennies from Adsense advertisements. Fuck the “How to Blog” blogs and fuck all the “Top 10” posts. Fuck live blogging events, writing EVERYTHING that goes on stage and then have the guts to call it reporting. Fuck the Vlogs with the celebrity wannabes and their 15 minutes of fame needs. You are not fooling anyone!
Fuck the social media power users with their thousands and thousands of friends and fuck the self proclaimed social experts who charge you hundred of dollars for creating a linkbait article and posting it to digg, StumbleUpon, reddit or Mixx. Fuck all the bookmarking services and the social media news sites, with their attention deficit disorder users who can’t stay on one page for more than 30 seconds, and then claiming to be multitaskers living in a never ending developing era of the information superhighway age. Oh yeah, fuck the commenters on digg.
Fuck the websites that call themselves social, just because users can post comments on their site, and fuck all the major brands that think they understand viral advertising, after they watched the 50 most viewed videos on YouTube. Just create good products, you morons! Fuck YouTube, vimeo, veoh, DailyMotion and MetaCafe. Fuck you all with your homemade bloopers, the how-to guides, the mashups to famous pieces, the funny pranks you did to your friends. Fuck all the lip-syncs to songs I never wanted to hear in the first place. It has no real meaning, it has no real value! Fuck Mentos and Diet Coke, fuck ninjas and pirates, fuck Numa Numa and OK GO, fuck Chuck Norris and Lolcats. I don’t wanna fucking have cheezburger! Fuck Internet memes. You are the real virus of our civilization.
Fuck facebook. Fuck you with the pokes, the events I confirm but never attend to, the wall and the super wall, the applications, the pages, the gifts, the status updates and the motherfucking comments on the fucking status updates. Fuck my friends that change their statuses every few minutes. Just pick one and stick to it, for crying out loud! Fuck you and your privacy issues, your terms and conditions and your advertisements. You are slowly, but surely, stealing our souls from us. Fuck the friend requests from people I never knew and from people I don’t want to know. Fuck the changes you make to your design, whenever a newer service that understands the users better than you comes along. We want a fair fight!
Fuck FriendFeed and seesmic, 12seconds.tv and blip.fm, flickr and PhotoBucket, tumblr and jaiku. Fuck lifestreaming and all the users that just HAVE to tell me what they’re doing on every day, every minute, and every second of their stupid little petty life. Fuck you and your tiny URLs. I don’t want to know where you are, what song you’re listening to, what your breakfast looked like, how much fun you had in that party, what post you’re reading right now, or what comment you just left on it. No, I also don’t want to know what’s on your mind!
Fuck twitter. Here, I said it! Fuck twitter! Fuck it with all the buzz and the press it gets, with its followers and real-time updates, with the “What are you doing?” 140 characters microblogging shit and the fake celebrities’ accounts. Fuck @ and #, and DM. Fuck retweeting and tweetup, twitpic and twihrl. Fuck all the plugins, the browser add-ons, the Adobe Air applications and every single service that uses the twitter API. It’s really easy to harness something successful, but please try to invent something new, will you?! Fuck twitter’s revenue models and fuck their fund-raising rounds. So they’re going to make a whole lot of money one day, that’s really awesome, whoopy-fucking-do! Fuck the conversation about whether or not Google will buy twitter, if blogging is dead because of it, or if it’s the next search engine. No, really, is there anyone out there that really cares?
Fuck the Microsoft and Yahoo! forever talks about a merger. Just make up your mind already! What the fuck is taking you so long when you know it’s the right thing to do? Just please put us all out of our miseries. Fuck Jerry Yang and Eric Schmidt, fuck Evan Williams and Mark Zuckerberg, fuck Kevin Rose and Chad Hurley. Fuck Markus Frind and all the other 20 something slumdog millionaires that had too much spare time on their hands, and thought they understand where the web is heading, but basically just were in the right place, in the right time, and got really damn lucky.
Fuck Michael Arrington. Who died and made you the king? What makes you think you are entitled to declare wars on things you don’t like? Fuck TechMeme and TechCrunch, Valleywag and Ars Technica, mashable and ReadWriteWeb, GigaOM and Scobleizer, Engadget and Gizmodo. And while we’re on the subject, fuck Robert Scoble, Jason Calacanis, and Loic Le Meur with their tens of thousands of followers and their so-called deep understanding of the social graph. Whatever the social graph is. Fuck your private conversations, your blog posts and your egocentric, self petting updates. I hope you all get aggregated into one feed and get deleted by accident when Google Reader will break down. Fuck all the aggregation services, that aggregate the aggregated aggregation of things that really don’t need to be aggregated. I don’t fucking need all my social services showing up on one place. I’m truly happy with just where they are right now.
Fuck all venture capital funded startups with their new and improved social networks dedicated to a specific niche group, and their funny odd website names that mean “Peace” in Swahili. Do you know what “kuma mamako” means in Swahili? Fuck the current economic depression and fuck the bubbles bursting. Fuck the companies that layoff people, just because they hired too many in the first place and they have to answer to their investors. Fuck this whole Web2.0 sphere and everyone in it. From the tagging to the comments, from the posts to the feeds. From the lowercase capital letters to the intended spelling mistakes. Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to fucking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place.
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Jeez man, maybe you should go sit somewhere quiet and read a nice book (non-tech related, of course)
Awesome. Fuck em all
Fucking brilliant. Exactly what I’ve been fucking blogging about for five fucking years.
Cheers/George
[...] JUMP!!!! Click here. [...]
Kudos to you. It’s the ultimate fucking manifesto regarding web 2.0
I will save this forever and show it to whomever ask me about the new technology.
Someone needs a fucking hug.
Fucking awesome.
absolutely dead fucking right. (and the fact that you can swear more than george parker and make it work is outstanding)
Fuck it..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_9blTxwFeA
You forgot to fuck apple!
Fuck the link that says “Share This” article ?
1. Love it.
2. For someone so pissed off about 2.0 and social, you sure do waste a lot of your life learning the lingo.
3. A true anti would pull the plug. But that’s not you is it. You love the praise, the anger, and the megaphone. Very 2009.
3a. …do you feel better.
Awesome…should I tweet this?
Brilliant! Best laugh I had all day!
I suppose the solution is to be wise when chosing what you want and what you don’t what…
Anyway, you definitely sometimes get breathless and just feel like saying - Fuck It All!
iPhone - Who needs YouTube?
There are times when we need it, and the only thing why it’s a totally interactive experience - the virtual keyboard. What’s so cool about that? When you need it, it’s there when you need it. When you don’t, you’re on your own. I totally agree - the keyboard was a great job for the iPhone…
…Although built-in solid keyboards on smartphones may be a bad idea, the YouTube app haunts horrible nightmares - much worse.
Has Apple lost their minds with YouTube?
With Apple and its partnership together with YouTube for creating the app - and worse - preinstalled on the iPhone (and iPod touch), the YouTube app is definitely (and I really really mean it. Seriously) the worst experience I’ve ever used on an iPhone. And overall, we don’t like it.
The intergrated YouTube video technologies (Apple partnering together with YouTube) are not reliable. Chances are, there are serious compromises. Like being kicked out of the video with an ugly alert message. I don’t trust their intergrated technology.
The old-TV-like icon is a riduculous icon for a YouTube app. They should use an appropriate “tube” logo for the icon. Overall, it gave not only the icon but also a bad look for myself.
Without YouTube preinstalled on the iPhone (and iPod touch), Apple would save much resources that would save us little extra storage, and little extra time, especially reading to the terms.
We really don’t want a YouTube app preinstalled on the iPhone. And we really don’t want Apple to partner together with YouTube to create a preinstalled app full of compromises. If we really want to enjoy YouTube on the iPhone, why can’t we have a standalone YouTube app where we can download it at the App Store? If the guys at YouTube really want to create an app, why can’t the guys at YouTube make their own standalone app for download at the App Store?
Apple should have chosen a better idea for creating a Remote app for download at the App Store. Can’t YouTube do that too?
Let’s hope what will happen next with the upcoming iPhone software version…
Built-in keyboards on smartphones? Bad.
Apple partnering together with YouTube to create a preinstalled app? Worse.
Fuck World Wide Web
Why on http://www.diggthis.net/submit/ there is no form to post ??????
Kevin’s Roses’ homosexual partners can suck his cock and fuck each other in the ass for deleting my account for ’spamming’. FUCK YOU!