If I could offer you only one tip for the future

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Baz Lurhman wrote a song for the class of 97, telling them all they should wear sunscreen, and giving them other useful tips for the future. I came across a similar list of tips for high-schoolers, written by Charles Sykes, where he explains what is the real world like, and what kids should be prepared for, as well as stumbled over another list by Dave Barry.

I love these tips, so I decided I should aggregate them all in one place and also searched for a few more tips and hacks from people who already passed a few things in their life, and gathered what you should learn from them. Have fun:

Charles Sykes (author of “Dumbing Out Our Kids”):

Life is not fair; get used to it.
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
You will not make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice president with a car phone until you “earn” both.
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger-flipping; they called it opportunity.
If you screw up, it’s not your parents’ fault so don’t whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning your room, and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. So before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades, they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

Baz Lurhman (writer of “Everybody’s Free”):

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

Dave Barry (author of “14 things it took me over 50 years to learn”):

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
Never lick a steak knife.
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
Your friends love you anyway.

Anonymous (author of ”Things I’ve Learned”)

I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing “Silent Night”. Age 6
I’ve learned that our dog doesn’t want to eat my broccoli either. Age 7
I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. Age 9
I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again. Age 12
I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. Age 14
I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me. Age 15
I’ve learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice. Age 24
I’ve learned that brushing my child’s hair is one of life’s great pleasures. Age 26
I’ve learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed me there. Age 29
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it. Age 39
I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know how to show it. Age 42
I’ve learned that you can make some one’s day by simply sending them a little note. Age 44
I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others. Age 46
I’ve learned that children and grandparents are natural allies. Age 47
I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. Age 48
I’ve learned that singing “Amazing Grace” can lift my spirits for hours. Age 49
I’ve learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone. Age 50
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. Age 52
I’ve learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills. Age 52
I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die. Age 53
I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. Age 58
I’ve learned that if you want to do something positive for your children, work to improve your marriage. Age 61
I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. Age 62
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. Age 64
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you. Age 65
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision. Age 66
I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer. Age 72
I’ve learned that it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell the truth, I’ve seen several. Age 75
I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. Age 82
I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back. Age 85
I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. Age 92